Life is divine chaos

Life is divine chaos. Embrace it. Forgive yourself. Breathe. Enjoy the ride. 

We all want to control our lives, to some extent, so that we can feel safe. Change often throws a wrench in that plan, hurling curve balls and body blows that mess with the order you crave. 

Change can feel chaotic. Befriend chaos, and you will befriend change. Befriend change, and you will unlock the secret to a peaceful life. 

The first truth of change is that it happens and we are always in the middle of it.   The second truth of change is to allow the future to emerge within, through and around you. The third truth of change is to embrace chaos. Buckle in, stay present, know who you are and get ready to grow.

The difference between a deck of cards and an iPhone illustrates the possibilities of chaos. The deck of cards is shuffled and completely disordered, a prime example of chaos. The iPhone is a prime example of order, an amazing machine, the result of decades of precision technology. What happens if I drop the cards on the ground? Are they any more or less ordered? No. They are no less chaotic than they were in my hands. What about the iPhone? If I drop the iPhone, it will be less ordered. It could even be unfixable, the machine will be broken. The deck of cards won’t organize itself. But it can easily be put into order with the help of an even moderately intelligent mind. It has a potential to be put back into order.

When you think about it, this is incredible. The deck of cards which is completely chaotic has greater adaptability and potential for order than the precisely designed iPhone.

Chaos Theory says that even the most disorderly system contains within itself the seed of order. This is true for relationships, families, work teams, political systems, communities, even your own complex personal perspective. 

Maybe chaos feels too strong a word. Maybe the word “messy” is closer, like a messy conversation. You don’t know how to begin it, but you stumble in and when two people engage the conversation with humble curiosity, incredible things emerge. Or else maybe the word confusion seems more fitting. As Milton Erickson said, “If you are willing to be confused about what you know, what you know will grow bigger, better and more useful.”

This is why chaos (at least some chaos) is a gift. If the world functioned like a machine, it would struggle to handle change. Thankfully, the world is a living system and operates more like a deck of cards (sometimes it feels like a house of cards), where change becomes an opportunity for new things to emerge. If people operated like machines, we would struggle with change. But we are more like a deck of cards. With some reorienting of our perspective, such as recognizing that you can’t always control the cards you’re dealt, but you can always control the way you play them, and some reorganizing of our choices, change brings incredible new opportunities.

Making one, small change such as changing your routine, smiling at a stranger or crossing the street to talk to a neighbor, can lead to incredible transformation. Chaos Theory reminds us of our power to co-create the future through mindful participation in change. Fractals remind us that if you step back from what appears to be chaos, and take a higher or wider view of a situation, you see beauty and order that was hard to detect when you were close up.

Change invites this high and wide perspective. As hard as it is, learn to stay open and awake in the middle of change because incredible new doors are opening for you. Change always comes bearing gifts of new possibilities.

As Friedrich Nietzsche said, “You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star.”