Confidence

We ALL want rock solid self confidence, but what is it and where does it come from? Here are some of my current thoughts on confidence.

I don’t see myself as confident. Most of my life, I've attempted things I didn't feel equipped for, but I tend to put my head down and go for it anyway. Some might call me naive! Persistent? YES, that’s my middle name! In any case, realizing that I’m not particularly confident but I AM persistent and I am generally optimistic.

Confidence is generally your belief in your own ability (based on past experience) while optimism is a big picture perspective. In other words, I don’t know if I can do this, but I will do my best and trust that it will all work out as it needs to. Confidence depends on me. Optimism depends on me + forces beyond me. Optimism operates despite confidence, but true confidence needs the guiding hand of optimism to make sure ego doesn't spin out of control. And then when my sense of purpose gives me confidence that I can play a valuable part in optimism’s plans, watch out! That’s confidence I want to sign up for; measured by time and perspective, in service of something more than my own feelings!

Confidence is a roller coaster ride of elation and devastation, based on circumstances, because it looks to success and failure with puppy dog eyes, hoping for a morsel of encouragement. Optimism has a much larger perspective on failure. It’s not tossed around in the winds of change. Another way to think about it goes like this. 

That’s the type of confidence I want to nurture. I don’t want to be victim to the agonizing twists and turns of fortune and evidence. I want to believe, in the largest sense, that my life has a place in the whole and that undying persistence comes from a deep knowing of this purpose rather than my own brilliance. Sometimes I will be brilliant, sometimes not.I don’t expect to find a super confident swagger any time soon.