Find Time & Thank People

We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives.
It’s almost a pity to wait until Thanksgiving or Christmas , like it’s a pity to wait until someone dies to write a eulogy for them, and it’s a missed opportunity to wait for someone to leave before telling them how much they mean to you. It’s like buying someone a gift, wrapping it up nicely and leaving it hidden in a closet. You have to get it out, express it, give people a chance to unwrap the gift. How powerful to express things while we have the chance! 
Some things are easier to be grateful for than others. Being grateful for my family is easy; they are easy to love and appreciate. Being grateful to the people who have inspired me to live my dreams is easy. People that live bold, authentic lives are inspirational, and I find it easy to be grateful for them.

But what about the haters and doubters? People who are like a shiver looking for a spine to run up are hard to be grateful for. And situations from the past that I would rather forget, situations that still send a shiver up my spine, are super hard to be grateful for.

SHOULD we be grateful for them? Yes and no!

On the one hand, no! Why be grateful for nasty people and situations? We should move on and try to forget them, maybe even tell them what we think.

On the other hand, yes! 

Here are five ways to be grateful for ALL situations and ALL people.

1. Practice Seeing The Whole Rather Than The Holes

If you look at your past in pieces, and break it down into good and bad moments, you will drive yourself crazy. All you will see are holes. It’s like a 3D picture. If you look at one part, it makes no sense. You have to see it as a whole.

If you look at your life as a whole, you can see the thread of growth and meaning through ALL of it. Then a general feeling of gratitude for who you have become can fill in the holes from the past.

Don’t be thankful for hard times. Be real. Call them what they were, or are. Be grateful for who you’re becoming. Be grateful for the gift of being able to get back up when you've fallen down. Be grateful for your life as a whole, and stop judging it piece by piece.

2. Stop Expecting Life To Add Up

“Expect nothing. Live frugally on surprise.” So often we expect life to add up, make sense, match our expectations. It’s this sense of entitlement which makes gratitude so elusive. Why would we be grateful for situations that don’t meet our standards or hopes? Drop your standards, and learn to see surprise as a gift. Gratitude is grace. It surprises you when you least expect it. The only precondition is openness. From this perspective, gratitude is never far from the surface.

3. It’s ALL part of who you are, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Be grateful even to the haters. It’s because of them that you have a backbone. They toughened you up and made you who you are today. While they were busy trying to knock you down, you were busy building yourself up.

4.      Be Grateful and the Feelings Will Follow

There’s a difference between BEING grateful and feeling grateful. You feel what you feel, and you can’t control or pretend you feel grateful if you don’t. That’s called denial. Being grateful is a choice, part of the re-framing process of past memories. Being grateful is an intentional act of will. Start with the intention, and let the feelings follow. Feelings happen on their own time schedule. You can create the conditions for feelings of gratitude. You can prepare your mind for gratitude. You can nurture an environment for gratitude. But the feelings will come in their own time. This is why gratitude so often comes after the fact, as you process and frame memories.

5.      Being alive is gift itself.